Um… are you okay D:
Probably? I’m waiting for a referral from my general practitioner to see a specialist so they can assess whether or not I have inflammatory bowel disease. The “good news” is that this is a continuation of the colitis that sent me to the ER, so 1) we know basically WHAT it is and just need to narrow down the specifics so we can assess how bad it is and how to treat it, and 2) it is WAY milder than the colitis that sent me to the ER, thank god (only intermittent bleeding, no abdominal pain that makes it very unpleasant to stand up, etc.).
I just have a bug up my ass about how much muscle tone I lost while I was unable to exercise while recovering from the last episode of colitis, which I realize intellectually is probably really stupid, but I’m super good at rationalizing things and ignoring physical discomfort so I’m currently fighting with myself about how bad an idea it is to exercise with the symptoms I’m having (“It doesn’t HURT much, so how bad can it be?” “Except that regardless you are BLEEDING INTERNALLY.” ”Yeah, but just INTERMITTENTLY, and not as much as last time. Plus, exercise can boost immunity!” “Except that if this is an auto-immune thing that might do more harm than good.” “But if I keep exercising while I still can, then if it gets bad again maybe I won’t lose as much muscle tone”, etc.).
I am the first person to admit that I am exhausting to deal with, lol.